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Sneaker Pimps Interview (written by Heulwen
http://www.homestead.com/tinseltown/life_in_tinseltown.html)
Shafts 16th November 1999
Chris Corner * Liam Howe * Dave Westlake * Joe Wilson
Four Sneaker Pimps sit around a table in Shaft’s. Work is going on in the background as the stage is being set up for tonight’s support band Fiji to soundcheck and I have the pleasure of joining the boys for an interview. Introducing David the Devonshire drummer, Liam the keyboardist who is "Bah Humbug about Christmas", Joe who listens and agrees a lot, however seems very quiet throughout the whole interview, and cheeky northern guitarist (and now singer too) Chris. Many of you will already know that following the band sacking Kelli, Chris stepped in, but he’d actually already demoed vocals for ‘Becoming X’ - the band’s first album, before Kelli arrived - so now it’s a case of him back in his original position.
As the festive season approaches, and millennium plans are being made, I felt that it was only appropriate to find out about Christmas’ past & future with a set of festive questions. "Ooooh - festive questions!" comes the cries from an excited band..... I think they’re relived that I’m not about to ask them about the new album, and I’m relieved because I wasn’t sure how they were going to react to answering questions about all things Christmassy.
So, question 1 to number 1....
What’s the best Christmas present you’ve ever received?
Joe being very eager to answer, it seems announces "a Scalextric set when I was about ten, I genuinely couldn’t believe it!" Cries of "Spoilt bastard" on the drummer’s part encourages me to think that maybe he wasn’t as lucky as a kid. This is the child who at the age of six, "had a handmade wooden castle. They’d wrapped it up in a massive box and it was just wooden and had a little drawbridge", and Chris? "I remember there was a bike behind the sofa, when you’re a kid it’s all exciting isn’t it?". Mr Bah Humbug - how about you? "I got a microscope when I was about eight, it was a practical gift".
How about the worst presents?
"A fish tank" replies Joe, "I never expressed any interest in aquariums and suddenly there was this fish tank. I was just a bit surprised". For Chris, who hated Chemistry, the chemistry set he received probably wasn’t the best choice of present. "It did my head in, they were so boring - I hated them". Then Liam added " had a present which I though was an ‘Etch-a-Scetch’ and it turned out not to be. I got really excited and was ripping it apart "It’s an Etch-a-sketch!!!" ‘cause I’d always wanted one and I actually ripped it to pieces. It was a cellophane colour-in machine, I broke it all and cried my eyes off". Aw bless!
Fearing more stories of tears on Christmas morning, I move swiftly onto Ideal Christmas presents?
Chris, being witty and quick off the mark, leans forward, cupping his chin in his hands, grins and says proudly "me two front teeth". This is followed by the first sing-along of the evening "All I want for Christmas is me two front teeth" - that is by all but Dave who admits "I didn’t even know the song existed".
On a more serious note, Chris wants to believe in Santa again. Dave gets all emotional "Oh I am gonna cry, I AM gonna cry!"
...and it leads me on nicely to the next question -
Do you believe in Father Christmas?
Chris reinforces his previous answer with "I wish that I could, I do" before Liam continues his Scrooge impression, "I think it’s simply evil to tell children lies. You can say that it’s a story as long as you SAY it’s a story. You should never say it’s the truth". It’s later revealed that this is what HE was told as a child. Poor kid - although he says he "felt superior to all the children at school".
From the depressing Bah Humbug nature of the last question, I try again to bring the spirits up by asking about their best jokes which should be found inside Christmas crackers. Echoes of "Cor, Cor..." are heard, followed by many visual jokes, (which I’m not even going to attempt to describe) before Joe saves the day.
"There’s two eggs frying in a pan - one guy goes ‘What are you doing tonight?’ and the other guy goes ‘Argghh - a talking egg!’. Boom boom.
Having asked previously about ideal presents, how about the ideal fairy at the top of the Christmas tree?
Much debate follows - Joe wants Diana Rigg "if in doubt..", whereas Liam and Dave agree between them that they’d like Felicity Kendell "in 1977, in ‘The Good Life’ with a big rolly jumper right up to her face and her glasses firmly on her head!". Chris is distressed at this thought as HE wants to be at the top of the tree. I tell him he can be at the top of mine, which Dave points out is a "12 day gig".
With Chris booked up as fairy for my Christmas Tree over the Christmas and Millennium period I enquire into the other members plans. Dave worries out loud, "we’re starting to panic a little, ‘cause none of us have anything planned", that is apart from Joe who is going to Bournemouth Beach where he informs us there’s going to be a big fire.
So, finally - a question which provokes all the band members to sing the titles of various tunes. What are your favourite Christmas Songs?
Everyone agrees on "Do they know it’s Christmas?" To which I made the mistake of asking which version? - "The Goldie re-mix - and that’s Goldie from Blue Peter" is thrown back at me "yeah - the Simon Groom re-mix..." Oh no, why did I ask????
Dave now sits and asks many times what’s "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.." called? Whilst titles of Carols are being sung at me from every direction "What about Musical Youth’s version of ‘White Christmas’?"..."Silent Night"..."Merry Christmas everyone"..."Have yourself a merry little Christmas duh duh duh duh duh"..... "The Holly and the Ivy"...."We three kings"...."Good King Wenceslas"
Liam proves not to be the Scrooge he makes
out by admitting that "the only thing I used to enjoy at Christmas was
singing Carols". Whilst Dave tries to convince himself that the song he
keeps singing IS called ‘Chestnuts roasting on an open fire’ I leave, before
returning later for an amazing gig.
SNEAKER PIMPS' CHRIS' MILLENNIUM-from NME.com
Where will you be spending New Year's Eve this year?
Miami or Kentish Town
What do you feel about the coming of the new Millennium?
Vast excitement
What's your favourite invention of the last 1000 years?
Steam hair straighteners with Pro-V formula
What hasn't been invented yet that should have been?
Proper robots
You've got 90 minutes to live before the Y2K apocalypse - what's on your stereo?
I think the last thing I'd do is waste time with some daft records
If we survive, how will you celebrate New Year's Day and what will your resolutions be for the rest of the year?
Shopping and resolve to find some proper robots